


Losing You, Losing Me

by EleanoraMcKogane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Orphan Keith (Voltron), POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith/Lance (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Soft Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleanoraMcKogane/pseuds/EleanoraMcKogane
Summary: Set after season 6 after Keith returns from the BOM.





	Losing You, Losing Me

“You what?”

Keith stares back at Lance in total bewilderment, that nervous impulse of rubbing the back of his neck beginning to rile Keith up a little. Lance bites his lips, looks away and struggles with his words.

“I… I… Keith, I already told you,” he stammers finally lowering his hand and clenching it into a tight fist.

He glances back at Keith, eyes distress and rapidly averting them from the indigo fire burning behind Keith’s shocked perplexity. He sighs weakly, his whole body visibly tensing up at the weight of his own words.

“Don’t make me repeat it, please.”

Keith can feel his chest clench at the echo of Lance’s previous statement, his words sinking deeper into his head like a sledgehammer.

The lingering panic shivers down his spine and Keith can’t hide them, lets them shake him as his mind plays sickening tricks on him, creating gruesome pictures of Lance’s lifeless body that he tries to shake off but it only enhances the dread creeping over him.

He tries to swallow but his throat is clogged, the air too thick around him and Keith can feel the tremor rising, building up from inside out.

“You…” he tries again, inhaling as his eyes want to water. Lance simply let’s his head fall, eyes closed in a pained expression that crumples his face. “Lance, you…”

And Keith is exhaling, his chest rising and falling in pangs of fear he can’t stop from shuddering him.

 _“Why?”_ he manages to croak.

Lance shifts his weight from one to the other and opens his eyes, staring at the ground between them.

"I had to,” Lance replies in a low voice.

“You had to?” Keith repeats in a much angrier tone than he intended.

Lance flinches visibly and even though Keith tries to sooth his voice a little, his fears are running wild and overtaking his rationality. “You had to die, is that what you mean? Are you telling me you just _had_ to sacrifice yourself?”

Lance’s reply comes in a shaky murmur. “Yes, it was the only way.”

The silence that fell between them was charged with palpable tension. Keith’s ears rang, the blood pumping in his veins coursing like acid.

“But you _died,”_ the word falters, a sob escaping Keith’s lips and he covers them, muffling whatever emotion wanted to come out.

But it was bigger than him, the deluge was already underway and he was drowning in his own agony, unfiltered pain raging like a storm inside him.

Keith felts his legs weak and could barely support himself against the wall when Lance’s arms spurt forward, grounding him as they slowly slide to the ground.

And Keith is clutching Lance’s jacket tightly in his fist, letting it all out in a crumble mess.

Lance simply cradles him back and forth in his arms, pulls him into his chest and lets Keith cry, his tears soaking his shirt and his uncontrollable sobs reverberating around the walls.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Lance whispers against his hair, his voice vacillating and stuck on his throat. “I’m here. I’m here.”

Keith lifts his head to stare at Lance’s tear stained eyes and Lance wipes his bangs from his forehead, forces a smile that barely curls his lips in assurance.

“Lance!”

“I’m right here Keith,” Lance says using the pad of his thumb to brush a tear from Keith’s cheek, one of his own falling in its place. It makes Keith’s heart cry even louder, makes it compress in such a heavy pang it hurts his chest. “Allura brought me back. I’m right here.”

And Keith is burying his face on Lance’s chest again, smelling his scent and reeling him back into that uncontrollable mess he couldn’t prevent from taking over his emotions.

“I… you could…”

“I know,” Lance says kissing Keith’s temple. “I know!”

Keith holds on tight, lets the storm rage on as Lance anchors him.

Each stroke of Lance’s hand on his hair brings him closer back to reality; each silent _hush_ at his ear is a comfort that slowly dissipates the shroud of icy dread away; each kiss on his head and temple eases the agony within and releases the panic, numbing it enough for him to breathe properly.

“Keith?” Lance asks tentatively.

Keith hesitantly pulls away, enough for him to face Lance whose eyes were the beacon of light he needed to wash ashore safe and sound.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice wavering.

Keith sniffles and wets his lips, trying to find his voice around the lump in his throat. “I can’t lose you Lance. I’ve already lost so much in my life. Losing you… I don’t know if I could survive that.”

“Don’t say that,” Lance replies exasperated. “You have Shiro and your mum-“

“It’s not the same,” Keith cuts him, shaking his head and swallowing. “Lance, I-I love you. I love you with everything I have, with everything I am. Losing you would be like losing the last remaining piece that holds me together.”

Lance’s brows furrow a little, his breath coming out in pants that fan across Keith’s cheeks. Keith adjusts himself so he’s kneeling before Lance, cups his face so he can look deeper into those unfathomed blue eyes.

“You fixed me; the angry, lonesome, homeless and orphan boy, you fixed him by simply existing. I found a reason to fight, to change and to be better in you.”

Three second passes. Four seconds. Then five and Keith is beginning to feel the dread crawl differently inside him.

He averts his eyes, not daring to stare longer at Lance’s wide and perplexed ones, that blue of his drowning him in a different tempest.

He chuckles to himself, a humourless chuckle and shakes his head, his hands letting go of Lance’s face.

“I knew you wouldn’t feel the same,” Keith comments in a small voice, the lump in throat once again clogging the air he couldn’t inhale.

"I do,” comes the reply, low and yet certain and Keith’s eyes snap up to Lance’s face, reading him. He just tilts his head back and puffs out his words as if he had kept them lock inside for too long, glad to finally free them. “God, I do.”

Keith gapes in utter shock as Lance gives him a shy smile. “You do?”

“I’ve loved you for so long now. I always have,” Lance says reaching forward so he could place his hand on Keith’s neck, bringing him closer and brushing their foreheads together, breathing the same air and feeling each other’s breath across their cheeks. “I love you too Keith, with everything I am.”

“I… I can’t lose you too,” Keith whispers again, fluttering his eyes shut at the feeling of Lance’s lips brushing against him, just teasing.

“You won’t,” Lance murmurs, each word puckering his lips against Keith's and his breathing hitches at the touch.

“Promise?” Keith asks rubbing their foreheads together and nudging Lance's nose. “Because if you do that again, I'll follow you and kill you again myself.”

Lance snorts briefly before replying sweetly, caressing Keith's face gently, eyes soft and truthful. “I promise.”

Keith feels his promise deep in his core and let's out the breath he was holding.

And through the small smile Lance gives him, Keith angles his head just enough to capture his lips, first hesitant and timid, then opening up to a deep, gentle and slow dance of tongues and lips fitting together and sighs raising goosebumps on his arms.

"Say it again,” Keith says through the kiss, holding Lance by the jacket again and pulling him closer, closer than he ever thought he would, their bodies almost blending together into one.

“I love you,” Lance sighs.

Keith kisses him, hard and deep and murmuring the words with as much fervour as he pours into the kiss.

And Keith is clinging to Lance again, this time the desperation morphing into a different kind of frantic and feverish need that eclipses the dread of almost losing Lance enough to lose himself in that greedy, selfish yearning that courses through his body.

And he let’s Lance take him there, to that place where all feelings are dazed by the upsurge of love Lance gives him, the only ones at the surface the delicious shiver of affection and warmth he receives with each kiss, each caress and each whisper at his ear.

**Author's Note:**

> First published on Instagram (username: @/eleanoramckogane)


End file.
